Monday, January 24, 2011

5-year old Wisdom

Over the past week, I have been enlightened, encouraged, and in awe of my 5-year old son, Parker Wade.  First, let me share a little bit of Parker with you.  He is the most amazing little person!  From birth he proved his strong will by deciding to be born 3 weeks early to a very emotionally unprepared Mommy and Daddy!  He continued through his infant/toddler years to be in charge of life (his and everyone elses)!  That will happen when you are the first child and first grandchild on both sides of the family.  And all along the way he has reminded all of us just how special and remarkable he is.  When I found out I was pregnant I prayed within seconds of reading that stick that the child inside me would have a tender heart and desire to love God.  God answered my prayer because this sweet little boy has the most tender precious heart and recently is showing his understanding of loving God. 

Now, I know I have made him out to seem absolutely perfect, but there are times!  Times of (please read quickly, writing this is dampening my mood) selfishness, pride, arrogance, anger, deliberate disobedience, and down right brattiness have certainly shown their ugly heads in his past 5 1/2 years.  However, as a mother times like I am about to share have far outnumbered the previous!

Last week I overheard him sharing God's truth with his little almost 3 yr old sister, Hallie.  The conversation went something like this:
 Parker:  "Hallie, you know if you aren't a good girl and love Jesus in your heart, listen and obey then you will go down to hell."
Hallie:  "Really, Parker?"
Parker:  "That's right, but if you are a good girl and you do love Jesus in your heart than you can go to heaven with me.  And you know what else, Hallie?  There aren't any doctors in heaven and when you cry tears it's not because you are sad."
Hallie:  "Okay, Parker."

Now, when I heard him tell his sweet adorable sister that she could go to hell, I almost jumped right into the conversation, but then I stopped.  He wasn't telling her anything but the truth.  In his innocent 5-year old way he was expressing the importance of loving Jesus and he didn't want his little baby sister to miss out on that.  And he translated Ryan and I telling him how in Heaven no one gets sick into there not being doctors in Heaven.  I have corrected that one in order to avoid him informing our doctors that they will not being going to Heaven ;~)  If only I had a drop of the boldness and passion that he showed in that conversation.  Granted, it was his sister, but I have hope that he would be just as passionate to a stranger or a good friend if the opportunity arises. 

Different Day~Same precious 5 year old.

As a mom, it seems the words "hurry up", "come on", "let's go", and "move it" come out of mouth more often than necessary, I'm sure some of you can relate.  Just last week we were doing our biweekly grocery shopping (with a 5 and 2 yr old it can get a bit lengthy) when, yet again, the 5-year old wisdom put everything into perspective.  We had finished unloading our full-to-the-rim shopping cart and I had managed to keep everyone from playing with EVERYTHING fun, dangerous, and expensive in the check out aisle; a feat in an of itself!  The bags were packed and reloaded, the money had been given, and I was on a high-speed one-track mind mission out of that store!  From the check out to the front doors I must have said, "Parker, hurry up, please" 10 times.  This child, who does tend to wander, comes to a dead stop and says, "Mom, maybe you should slow down sometimes."  OUCH!  He nailed me.  He was absolutely 100% right.  Maybe I should just slow down sometimes.  I am so thankful that God uses even my sweet 5 year old son to get his desires through to me.  I took Parker's advice and I have slowed down over the past few days.  I have surrendered my agenda (again) and yes it takes longer to get the laundry finished, things are bit messier, and my checklist continues to grow.  BUT.  My kids are at peace, I am soaking up every second of them, and God and I are able to stay in touch with each other a little more naturally.

So here I sit, encouraged, enlightened, and in awe of my sweet 5-year old, Parker Wade Sisney.  I love you my prince.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Pushing Pause...

Lately, I look at my sweet Parker Wade, who will be 6 in a little less than 3 months, and I want to put my hands on his cheeks pushing pause just holding his face there in front of mine so closely that I don't miss a second.  Children grow so fast, and before you know it you've forgotten all about the long, late nights of sleeping in the recliner with your child upright just so he can keep his food down.  And the long, sleepy days of putting the milk in the cabinet and the cereal in the fridge by mistake.  Those are the days and nights that you can't wait to put behind you, but little do you realize (especially when it's your first child) that down the road a few years you would love to have them all back.

And you spend the first year of your new found mommy-hood listening to more experienced moms telling you to soak up every second because all too soon they will begin to grow all too fast!  But when you are the sole provider of nourishment, entertainment, rest, and comfort for this adorable little baby blessing you can't help but long for a day all to yourself .  A day where you can answer to your real first name and eat your meals when they are hot and delicious instead of when they are cold and repulsive.  Obviously, I am familiar with these daydreams. 

However, there are also times in our home when Mommy steps off her extremely high platform of rules, schedules, and how-to's to just sit back and watch her children soaking up every second of their day.  These days (which do not come around often enough) are more rewarding and meaningful to me than a day spent all by myself left only to wonder what my sweet ones are doing without me.  Parker and Hallie have come to know these days as "No Rules Day" around here.  They think it's totally about them being in charge and doing the things that normally get a firm "No" from their mommy, but actually these days serve as a reminder for me to Let Go and Let God.  I lay down my plan, my desires, and my expectations.  Laundry isn't important, dishes pile up, we eat things like popcorn for breakfast and pancakes for dinner (okay aside from the popcorn part the latter is a bit of a normalcy around here).  

These are the days when placing my hands on the cheeks of my children actually does make the time stand still.  And then I wonder....is this not what my FATHER desires of me??  Doesn't the God who knit me together want to sometimes place His hands on my cheeks and just pause my life for a moment to be filled with His word, and His love?  Yes, He desires this daily, and so should I.  It's easy to say there's no time or at least no time that is quiet enough.  I encourage you, fellow Mommy friends, to let your life be paused.  Rest your face in His hands and lay yourself at His feet.  There is always a renewing to be found there, a dose of spiritual energy to continue being "the bestest Mommy in the world". 

It might seem like you are doing just fine (because us mommies can plow our way through anything), but eventually you will hit a wall too high to climb alone.  When that happens just push pause, look up, and stick out your hand(thank you Mom II).  Your God is waiting to guide you, waiting to replenish you, waiting to just hold you in his mighty grip.  And oh what joy comes from walking in the Spirit.   I am so thankful for God's patience and willingness to just be there when I finally decide to just be still.

Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him.  Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong.  Ephesians 3:17

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

While I'm Waiting....

Today has been a day of "Ah-ha" moments for me.  When I have moments like these I picture God giving a deep sigh of relief and a breathless "Finally".  I admit, I am sometimes very slow to "get the picture".   This makes me so very thankful that my God is a patient God, never throwing in the towel on me while He is waiting on my moments.

I had mentioned in my first blog that we are waiting for God to move, which is true, but it became very clear to me today that what we are waiting for is so very small in scale.  Especially when compared to a fellow mom I know who waited for brain surgery a few weeks ago to remove a tumor and then continued waiting to find out if it was cancerous.  And the mother; whose unborn twins have developed a syndrome that is causing heart problems; who was waiting to reach the 26th week in utero so that she would no longer have to decide the fate of her babies if this disorder forced them to be born way too early. 

We are waiting on a permanent address, a house, a yard, the right school district for our son!!  A little perspective please, Summer!!  Either of these two awesome women would trade places with me in a second, and I know that.  I am ashamed for any amount of pouting and pity I have harbored in our waiting game.   However, every life is a story and every story has pages.  We are all at the mercy of the Great Story Teller.  When it is HIS time and when all the circumstances are lined up for HIS glory; that sweet swishing sound of your page being turned will fill your heart!  And the next chapter He has written will be so much better than if you had written it yourself.

One of my favorite songs came on the radio today on my way back from PreK pick-up, "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller.  It's featured in the movie Fireproof (I highly recommend this movie if you have not seen it~there's a message for all of us).  Anyway, the chorus of the song says:

"I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait"

Waiting doesn't have to be a waste of our time, but a time of reflection, refreshing, and refocusing.  A verse that's speaking to me right now is
Philippians 2:13 ~ For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. 
Even if it's not something you want to do or feel equipped to do, HE is working IN you!  While you're waiting why not just let HIM work?

By the way,
Jenny did reach 26 weeks with her twins, but has other mountains to climb just making sure they arrive safely and that the complications will not be too severe.  Please pray for her!

Kim is recovering from her surgery and her "tumor" turned out to be non cancerous scar tissue!  What a blessing in that.  However, she is still recovering from brain surgery and has two preschoolers at home with whom she would love to share endless energy and laughter, but her brain is still very sleepy.  Pray for Kim's healing to be complete and her energy to grow each day.

Here's the thing; these women are merely acquaintances of mine.  I haven't spent time with them or even enjoyed play dates with them, but GOD has used their stories to give perspective to mine.  What is He showing you?

Monday, January 3, 2011

The Story of Us...

Let me see if I can condense the past 10 years into a meaningful yet informative introduction of myself to the blogging world.

Girl meets Boy (at restaurant where they both worked the exact same schedule).  Girl dislikes Boy thinking he is arrogant, bossy, and selfish.  Boy dislikes Girl thinking she is snooty, prissy, and disconnected.  God sees that Boy and Girl are not plugged into His plan for their lives and thankfully intercedes.  Enter one very brave friend who tells Girl to consider a date with Boy, because "that's just the way it's supposed to be".  Next day Girl and Boy show up to work and (Choir of Angels erupt in melodious AAAAAAWWWWW) see each other through God's eyes.  Girl and Boy go on first date and 2 weeks later Boy asks Girl to be his wife.  Girl responds with "are you kidding me" x3 and finally with "yes".  Thirteen months later Girl and Boy become Mr. and Mrs. Ryan W. Sisney in a beautiful, meaningful, perfect marriage ceremony (according to Girl of course).  Mr. and Mrs. Ryan W. Sisney begin the very long, very trying, very rewarding first year to their Happily Ever After.  Moving on.....

3 years and 11 months later Mr. and Mrs. Ryan W. Sisney become Mommy and Daddy to a very precious Parker Wade Sisney.  Thus Mommy, Daddy, and Parker continue to fill the pages of Happily Ever After through Daddy's job change, Mommy's adjusting to being a mommy, and various life adventures.  2 years and 10 months later Mommy, Daddy, and Parker welcomed Hallie Ryan Sisney and her sunshine personality to the story and they felt complete.

1 year and 1 week into enjoying life as a family of four; Mommy, Daddy, Parker, and Hallie packed up all their belongs (1/2 of them went to live in a storage barn), sold their first home, and moved to Columbus, Ohio for a temporary stay for Daddy's job (12-18 months so they thought).  They never questioned if this was the right move for their family (okay well maybe Mommy did after about three weeks of closet crying therapy in Columbus) because God had clearly opened every door that led to the move.

And that brings us to 2 years later (in about 6 weeks to be exact) Mommy, Daddy, Parker, and Hallie are living in a two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment in Columbus, OH still waiting on God to move.  Happily Ever After in Columbus, OH has been a wonderful, isolating, soul searching, faith building chapter.  God has grown this family of four closer to Him and closer to each other.  Sometimes the closer to each other part has been a bit of a challenge, nevertheless, completely enjoyable at the end of the day.  Besides the relative two sets of ear tubes, adenoid removal, broken fifth metatarsal, tonsillectomy, failure to thrive hospitalization, and multiple bottles of TUMS for Daddy~that should just about fill in the gaps of our past 10 years!

This momma has learned an amazing amount about herself and the "self" in her that requires daily (sometimes hourly) dying to.  This blog is an effort to share all that God is doing in this heart and with this life.  The lessons we are learning, the valley's we are walking, and the mountains we are climbing.  I will not promise there will be no complaining or whining in post (although that is not my desire) as I am an emotionally powered woman(also something I wish to change)! My hope is that these posts may inspire others to walk the path, be it ever so winding and bumpy, that God has chosen for them gaining nothing more than absolute certainty of THE eternal Happily Ever After....



Disclaimer:  There are sure to be run-on sentences, mispunctuations, and dangling participles...my writing skills have suffered during my time as a momma of a toddler and preschooler!  My apologies to all the English/Writing teachers who diligently tried to teach me the rules of writing.