Monday, January 10, 2011

Pushing Pause...

Lately, I look at my sweet Parker Wade, who will be 6 in a little less than 3 months, and I want to put my hands on his cheeks pushing pause just holding his face there in front of mine so closely that I don't miss a second.  Children grow so fast, and before you know it you've forgotten all about the long, late nights of sleeping in the recliner with your child upright just so he can keep his food down.  And the long, sleepy days of putting the milk in the cabinet and the cereal in the fridge by mistake.  Those are the days and nights that you can't wait to put behind you, but little do you realize (especially when it's your first child) that down the road a few years you would love to have them all back.

And you spend the first year of your new found mommy-hood listening to more experienced moms telling you to soak up every second because all too soon they will begin to grow all too fast!  But when you are the sole provider of nourishment, entertainment, rest, and comfort for this adorable little baby blessing you can't help but long for a day all to yourself .  A day where you can answer to your real first name and eat your meals when they are hot and delicious instead of when they are cold and repulsive.  Obviously, I am familiar with these daydreams. 

However, there are also times in our home when Mommy steps off her extremely high platform of rules, schedules, and how-to's to just sit back and watch her children soaking up every second of their day.  These days (which do not come around often enough) are more rewarding and meaningful to me than a day spent all by myself left only to wonder what my sweet ones are doing without me.  Parker and Hallie have come to know these days as "No Rules Day" around here.  They think it's totally about them being in charge and doing the things that normally get a firm "No" from their mommy, but actually these days serve as a reminder for me to Let Go and Let God.  I lay down my plan, my desires, and my expectations.  Laundry isn't important, dishes pile up, we eat things like popcorn for breakfast and pancakes for dinner (okay aside from the popcorn part the latter is a bit of a normalcy around here).  

These are the days when placing my hands on the cheeks of my children actually does make the time stand still.  And then I this not what my FATHER desires of me??  Doesn't the God who knit me together want to sometimes place His hands on my cheeks and just pause my life for a moment to be filled with His word, and His love?  Yes, He desires this daily, and so should I.  It's easy to say there's no time or at least no time that is quiet enough.  I encourage you, fellow Mommy friends, to let your life be paused.  Rest your face in His hands and lay yourself at His feet.  There is always a renewing to be found there, a dose of spiritual energy to continue being "the bestest Mommy in the world". 

It might seem like you are doing just fine (because us mommies can plow our way through anything), but eventually you will hit a wall too high to climb alone.  When that happens just push pause, look up, and stick out your hand(thank you Mom II).  Your God is waiting to guide you, waiting to replenish you, waiting to just hold you in his mighty grip.  And oh what joy comes from walking in the Spirit.   I am so thankful for God's patience and willingness to just be there when I finally decide to just be still.

Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him.  Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong.  Ephesians 3:17

1 comment:

  1. I can't even imagine my Parker being 6 - I am in shock still that he's out of all therapies - a completely normal (and little) 2.5 year old whom I looking at preschools for now...I mean really. How is it even possible that this little miracle boy who was 2lbs at birth is now going to be 3 and starting preschool in the fall. I almost want my 2 lb punkin back!

    Thanks for this post!